Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do.  Love is a women: A physical form of experience.  She is the Garden of Eden, love, ‘holy’ and fully is her prime reason to be.  A man is only worthy of Love if he recognizes his part to partake of it; a responsibility to appreciate Love, protect Love, respect Love, hold Love in highest esteem, so to be willing to battle fearlessly at all costs for Love.  Love is the greatest of all things, without which, there is no existence.  Dammed be she who dares betray her temple of Love.  Dammed be he who dare enters the temple of Love with empty soul.




Love, can be of frustration to anyone who has no understanding.  Love has expectations—requirements different for men and women; an understanding of part and place of how to love one another through a balance of understanding.




We can analyze to say what we think we know.  He, wants to play with Love.  She window-shops for a life-time partner in the equal sharing of Love—these,  are obvious first expectations for most relationships. Attraction, as we all know, is vital.  How is he attracted to she? A wide-ranged subject at best, and for she, this might not be so easily expressed.  There is the agreement of thought between he and she that no one can deny; an importance of biological interactions of chemistry and hormones.   Then comes the ‘mental attitudes’ of he and she.  Details of importance for he may be . . . well . . . the things which might spike his interest in she.  This could be even the smallest of details, to the mainframe details of ‘looks’.  Seems that most of the time for he, is the whole of she—details that sort of ‘build-up’ expectations of an ‘image’ he may have of imagination of a she he most desires. Imagination of expectations takes over, and he perhaps will want to become intimate with she.  Is this lust, or is it Love?  Hard to say at first encounter, for he.




She, is very much flattered when he shows interest in her, but if she does not react to his ‘solicitations’; gestures . . . smiles . . . looks . . . compliments, etc.—then there will be no chance to be had by he, at ‘the score’.  A little hard-to-get display on her part, is often a tactic she uses to attract him just a bit more, even if only to pursue the depth of his desires for her.  Let’s says that she is attracted to he and begins to work her array of seductions on him: A seduction that must work for she and he.  As she works her feminine ‘wiles’ on him, at the same time as she talks with him, she ‘watches’ him to gauge his potential as a long-term mate,  and even if she has no real intention to be with him for a long period of ‘time’.  She will question—is he genuine?  Is he affectionate?  Is he patient?  Does he have a mature and prosperous survival ethic?  He is child-like and not child-ish in his masculinity?  Is he selfish?  Does she feel safe when she is with him?  As things move along and escalate sexually, she may stop thinking of her critiques of him, she’ll stop talking, and at a certain point, it becomes clear to he and she, whether or not, if personal expectations of sexual excitement is mutual and satisfactory.




Blooming relationships differ in dynamics one from another, but, it is the blossoming relationship that will move forward. The excitement of new love is very strong, and both lovers just can’t wait to get their hands on one another. He and she may seemed rushed to this point as emotions and physical expectations take over.  And then, what after? Lovers will tend to think about the ‘what’ of next expectation.  Questions such as, do we bother to try to be together for a while?  Do we just get together on occasion to satisfy a sexual need or comfort?  Do we allow ourselves to just relent to and relish in the being drunk with sex and excitement of a new relationship?  And sure we may, and why not?!  If lovers come to a  decision to stay together for a long period of ‘time’, then surely comes ‘the addiction’—somewhat of obsessive pull one toward the other; a quite natural dopamine effect of desire to be in company of one another. A missing comes of the now significant other.  And then it happens . . . the inevitability of first glimpse of frustration in the event that such desire is not satisfied.  So, frustration then does become part of the lovers package?  If lovers were not addicted to one another, stands to reason, they would not experience frustration.  Isn’t it a kind of addiction what keeps lovers together?  Basically, frustration is a big part of a relationship as much as is addiction.  A pause in thought should be, that in every relationship, there must be a balance between feelings of frustration and addiction with regard to changing expectations, if, he and she desires to further the relationship.  So how do couples ‘handle’ addiction, frustration, and expectation, whether it be within a strong and emotional attraction, a long-term relationship attraction, or a passionately sexual romp now and then attraction?  Because either or all, feelings will change, as so we are predisposed.  The frustration, as well as the addiction, will either decline, or will advance to another ‘level’.  In most cases, and so it is we hope as we become older, to a more ‘calmer’ level; a mutual acceptance of change and growth that will be inevitable within one and the other.




Some couples thoughts eventually will come to the wisdoms of understanding that their closeness is evolving—a becoming of a more ‘centered’ affection; a balance of frustrations and expectations. A desire to be with one another now exists within trust, confidence, respect, and a mutual bond that took place between he and she over a period of part of a life-time: A ‘special’ feeling that only the two can know intimately.  The first addiction will tend to fade: A lessoning of sexual attraction survived by the new addiction for need of love and affection; a change in physical dynamic  to a more deeply sentimental addiction, one of personality and spirit—the ‘person’ your partner has become through ‘time’.  A frustration may or may not arise of this change, but if so, can be tempered [mellowed] to an acceptance of new exceptions being applied to the new situation; a period of yet another ‘stage’ of existence, closeness, and mutual affection—one that may come to even touch the sensitivities of one another’s soul. After the drama of opening—the physical intimacy, the relationship is now challenged to be willing to embrace an openness of wisdoms moving in direction toward an affective intimacy. Affective intimacy is a much more difficult challenge for he and she to aspire to, because what is ultimately challenged is the ability to ‘perform’ within a greater love that can only be created of a willingness of selflessness—a desire for the survival of the love he and she have created, because it is only Love’s desire that can and will bring he and she to this ‘higher’ plain of thought.




In all relationships, there will be compromise. The main compromise being just how much compromise is he and she willing to make? And how many frustrations can he and she withstand out of this mutual compromise? For some, it may be that one may seem to be unable to thrive without frustration and drama, or outright non-compliance toward compromise within the relationship, and thus will tend to create problems and unwarranted frustrations; a way to continued displays of nonsensical drama.  Would we think that the more calmer and most willing one of the two will be happy with the compulsively frustrated significant other?  Absolutely no!  If only one carries, or believes themselves to carry all of the frustrations expressed of the other, then they will always be a prisoner to unbalanced frustration, and so will suffer the accumulated  frustrations which does slowly destroy the intimacy that was so lovingly created between he and she.  Yes, we do get frustrated in our relationships, and mostly according to desires of personal expectations, and therefore, will hold the pains of heart, mind, and spirit . . . alone . . . because the other has now become silent with regard to a caring of heart—numbed to the relationship simply to avoid any sort of confrontation.  A suffered partner of cold-heartedness will feel a wrath of indifference, and albeit-it, even within a constant forgiveness. Unfortunately, the more silence reigns over communication between he and she, the more frustrations accumulate.  The relationship becomes like a cancer, because one refuses to acknowledge the pain given to the other, and thus refuses to acknowledge the possibility of deeper love; an emotional abuse where the one who is emotionally abused becomes lonely in the darkness of loneliness where missed is the other.  Relationships do so often overlook this most importance aspect of understanding.  The one who is frustrated for lack of understanding, is simply just not willing to come to terms with their own frustrations, and thus makes no effort necessary to fight for the deeper love of experience.  They will callously, out of selfishness, relent to the loss of someone whose long-standing love cannot, and will not ever be replaced. Frustrations, expectations, addictions, and compromise are all linked in a strange way to an exceptional, true and real love, and is worth a battle of partaking in, in order to keep what was ‘built up’ between he and she.




Is it logic that dictates, “no pain, no gain”?  Indeed yes!  A meaningful relationship cannot be without the frustrations necessary for growth and change.  Would he or she be in love at all in the first place if it were not first for want of experience of feelings for ‘something’ missing in their lives? Frustration is what makes love move to a seeking for change; an anxiety rising out of a spirit’s desire for the ‘something’ of change.  It is frustration which creates the need and want to be with someone to give love and receive love.  Missing someone is a frustration, and is in fact, the first frustration one feels.  It’s not a question of complicated relationships really, nor is it about all the terrible frustrations and sentiments of sadness caused of an unfair world.  Simply put, if couples are not experiencing frustration in a given relationship, then they are not in love at all.  Feeling the frustration gives he and she the ability to recognize and acknowledge the connection and attraction. There is no way one can become addicted to another without feelings of love on some level; a subjection expected of human emotions.  If all that is desired of another is an easy boring (boredom . . . yet another kind of frustration) life-style, then it becomes an abuse of love if one does knowingly allow another to ‘fall in love’ without merit of reciprocation!  Do spare one who is not afraid to give love wholly, for it is love that will be expected wholly in return. No one is deserving of empty exchange of emotional misery!  Be not ungrateful when true love is given!  Understand, that love is truly only for the worthy who are willing to give it!




Does he and she desire Love? Does he and she want for a meaningful relationship? If this be so, then both must  be expected to accept and embrace the accompanying frustrations, addictions, and expectations required of love, because these are the conundrums of determinate, be it calm, and/or chaos of change and growth and learning and accepting of differences.  And so we ask, what are my motives for the giving and not just the taking that will make or break love?  It is the things learned of appreciation!  The ‘something’ wonderful to have in patience of moment to moment experience!  In this thought, he and she learn to lower their expectations as time moves them.  Be not selfish while wandering and wondering together through the ‘stages’ of life.  Passionate physical relationships will either grow into new beginnings as passionate ‘mature’ affectionate friendships, or, if there be a lack of wisdom of understanding on part of one or the other, or both, will most assuredly come face-to-ugly-face confrontation with overwhelming heartache. And what a shame it is that many relationships do end in the latter, and simply because of a stubborn selfishness of heart.




Feelings evolve unending. And even if we try and force a relief from within by attempting a self-numbing against the darkness of heartache.  This can only led to a stifling of a light of elation to the very joys of living.  The hardest thing to do in relationships then, is to learn to simply give up expectations.  Accept a place of heart to just be, because nothing can remain the same.  He and she can only move past the negative ‘karma’ placed on the relationship by the energies they allow into it. Discern all things through the love for one another—heart, mind, and spirit.  Only good and positive things come of a will’s effort. The reward will be the joys of companionship where frustrations are balanced through healthy loving intimate communication.  Without this anchor attached to love’s security, frustrations will become numerous and toxic: A sad misery for one who is made to suffer the pains of the other unfairly: A time for one or the other to move on and away from the damage caused of selfishness that will surely devastate self-worth.




And so it is so . . . if he and she are both desirous of true love, than stands to reason that both must be willing to compromise toward the earning.  Love is happiness—found through the frustrations associated with changes balanced in patience of mutual understanding of Love’s expectation.   The Universe is patient—embracing beauty through the darks and the lights of order of calm and chaos: A constant moment to moment experience of desire toward perfection.  Why would he or she think themselves any different?  The Universe is Love, and Love is peace realized at the center of mind, heart, and spirit.  True Love does not allow unworthy things to enter—dark things that blind us from the light of one another. ©




Love seeks only to be satisfied of fullness of experience.  The price for Love is gratitude in the living and giving, before the partaking of ecstasy of sudden sweatiness and drowsiness in flash of purpose: A wish for the sleeping and the dreaming in grasses of contentment. Love should be lived to the point of tears of joys and sorrows, because lessons are to be had of both.



A woman is a mystery meant for glory, and should be gifted  only to a man who knows in his heart that she is here because the world needs Love to survive: A deeper love meant only for a man who is aware that Love is her true ‘soul’s-mate—a place of understanding hidden in folds of purity seeking a protectorate who ‘sees’ her virtue; a first encounter of Love [‘God’] : A Love beyond a world made blind by cold hearts.  



“Seven Steps to Finding True Love”: A helpful opinion:











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